Love?
August 16, 2009
Real quick post today, I just have this question in my mind.
How do you differentiate between love (healthy) and obsession (unhealthy)?
This question has been on my mind a lot lately, because I honestly don’t know the answer. Is my love for Her a healthy, dedicated, strong love? Is it obsession, with all the negative connotations that go along with that? How the hell do you tell the difference, and even more importantly, what the heck do you do about it?
She’s been gone for two months today, and nearly all the (very infrequent) contacts between us have been very negative. The problem is that I still find myself wishing she were here with me, that we could find a way to repair this thing… I still miss her badly, even though it seems that since she has left my life has been SO much better… I don’t miss the drama and the fighting and the feeling insecure about myself… but I miss having my partner in crime around, the things we would do and the dreams we would talk about, about moving, buying a house, shopping for baby items, exploring new places… argh
Sometimes I hope that I will get over her soon… and another part of me never wants to.
The Neighbors Wife
February 23, 2008
It’s one of my frequent days off since the big layoff (goddamn dot-com bust anyhow) and I am just enjoying the western Washington sunshine, infrequent as it is, and hanging around the house drinking homemade Long Islands, cleaning, and listening to the radio. I am considering moving back east, because there are no jobs out here! Damn near everyone I know got laid off or is in real fear of being laid off, I can’t even get a job at the fucking gas station… great fun to be a techie in the middle of the worst tech job slump in history.
A knock comes on my garage door, scaring the crap out of me – who comes into the garage instead of to the front door? I am surprised to see it is my neighbor’s wife, whose kids play with my 7 year old daughter all the time. Her husband is a former co-worker and friend of mine, one who luckily got to keep his job. My daughter and I have lived near them for 2 years and have enjoyed Christmas, New Year’s, movie & pizza nights…. a good, healthy, friendly relationship.
As she comes in I can tell she has already been drinking (kind of like me) and that she is just revved up, excitable. She asks me if I have anything to drink, of course I do! I pull the near-frozen bottle of goldschlager from the freezer and pour us each a good full double-shot, and we stand around the kitchen hitting the bottle, laughing and joking. We are getting nicely lit, the sun is tremendous shining through the three pane kitchen windows… when she pulls the front of my sweat pants out and pours frozen goldschlager down my pants!
WHAT THE FUCK! That’s cold! Oh shit – it’s also BURNING! She backs me up to the kitchen bar and says she will take care of it for me… and promptly drops to her knees and takes me into her mouth. It’s an odd feeling, the cold, the burning, and the blowjob.
She brings me to full erection and stands to kiss me, as she backs me into the garage and hits the button to close the doors. As the light fades into complete darkness, I see her stripping her clothes off. She leans over the washing machine and I move forward, into her. We fuck like beasts, loud and hard, one of the most frantic fucks in my life. I come fast, it’s been a long time. She has arrived before me, though, and turns to face me, kissing and biting my neck as she strokes me.
I break away – not sure what the hell just happened, beginning to see the ramifications of everything. This is the wife of my friend! My neighbor! I turn from her, tell her I have to go to the bathroom. As I stand in the bathroom splashing water on my face and looking at myself in the mirror, she comes into the bathroom, naked. I am hard again.
This time I take her, again from behind, while she leans over the bathroom sink and we watch ourselves in the mirror. It lasts longer this second time, but is no less animalistic in it’s desperation. We finish a while later, and get dressed in silence. I start to say something to her, to figure out what is going on… when we hear our children, both hers and mine, getting off the bus out front.
With a last look, she leaves by the front door. I stand there dazed and confused, until my daughter comes in to show me the finger painting she did in school today. It is somehow surreal, this parental thing so closely following the other.
—
That evening, my doorbell rings. I look out the peephole, and see her husband, my friend & neighbor. Oh shit. I resolve to take whatever he does, I deserve it. If he punches me, I will not defend. Instead, he tells me that his wife has a drinking problem, and asks politely that I not let her have alcohol in the future. I agree, but can tell by the look on his face that he knows. I want him to hit me. He doesn’t.
And these are our allies?
November 21, 2007
Okay, what the FUCK is wrong with the people in Saudi Arabia??
I read THIS article from the Associated Press, and was just sitting here speechless. This 19 year old girl is brutally gang-raped by 7 men, and her male friend is assaulted by the same group…. and the Saudi government has sentenced her to six months in prison and 200 lashes?
The reason for this punishment is because the young lady in question was in a vehicle, with a man that was not a family member, thus breaking the Saudi rules on segregation of the sexes.
Again… WHAT THE FUCK.
Like the girl hasn’t been traumatized enough by being kidnapped and gang-raped, now she gets to be imprisoned and beat by the very people that should be who she goes to for JUSTICE.
And these are our allies. YAY.
-B
